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Do Monsters Have Butts?

August 22, 2014

 

Tiny is a very curious little lady so I get asked a million questions a day.  Some are easy, others down right stumpers, some make me want to beat my head against a wall when I’ve been asked the same question for the 567th time that day, and some make me stop and go hmmm…how quickly can I make something up so my 3 year old doesn’t think I’m an idiot?  (Siri, remind me later to Google anatomy of a monkey.)  If you had spent time with us in the last couple of weeks, you'd have heard some pretty awesome conversations...

 

When do we get to meet the princess? 

We're at the Princess Diana Exhibit at The Cincinnati Museum Center and I don't know how to tell her...Ooooo….honey, this fairytale doesn’t end well.  It’s what literature has deemed a tragedy. The Princess?  She dead.

 

 

 

She doesn’t want to eat from your boob.  Why don’t you just pump already?

Touche.  And, can I just say this is disturbing on so many levels.  One, while this is happening Poppy is fussing and playing a horrible game of eat a little, look around a little…this is causing (eewwww) milk to spray everywhere.   I’m frustrated, she’s frustrated and Liesee just wants her toaster waffle without being squirted in the face by a rogue milk spray.   Two, truth be told I’ve been struggling with the decision to give up nursing Poppy and just go to pumping and supplementing…the ol’ Guilt Vs. Sanity struggle.  And, three, Liesee might be a genius…that is until she asks the next question.

 

 

Can we play at Owen’s house today?

Remember when we took that hellacious 13-hour drive just a couple weeks ago after Uncle Mark and Aunt Di’s wedding?  You don’t?  You’ve totally blocked it out?  Ok, well, honey, Owen lives in Cincinnati, and we can’t drive 13 hours for a play date.

 

Is LiLi going to be on my soccer team?

See answer above.

 

 

 

Why do you have a weird face?

What’s wrong with my face?  Wait, honey, that’s not a nice thing to say to someone.  If I had a weird look, you could have said…Mama is something wrong?  Saying someone has a weird face isn’t very friendly. But, I’m panicking…not only do I have to watch what I say, but I also have to watch my ‘weird’ face?   She’s always there, watching, judging.

 

What was the name of Daddy’s cat?

Me: Daddy didn’t have a cat.

Tiny: Yes, but what was her name?

Me: Daddy didn’t have a cat.

Tiny: Yes, but what was her name?

Me: Honey, like I said, Daddy didn’t have a cat. We don’t all have cats.  In fact, we don’t even have a cat now.

Tiny: Yes, but what was her name?

Me: Princess Pickles

Tiny: Ha! I like that name!  She sounds sooo cute.

 

 

And it goes on and on…..Do monkey’s have thumbs? Do I still have poop on my butt? Do you like carrots? Does watermelon taste like popsicles?  What was the name of that cute boy in my class with the old shirt? Can I have a snack? Why? What’s your favorite color? Why? What’s Poppy’s favorite color?  Why? Can dogs talk?  Do you like milk? Do you have any money?  What’s his name? What’s her name? Am I still 3? And, And, And….And then…

 

Do monsters have butts? Or no?

Well, some monsters have butts.  Hmmm…actually all monsters eat so I’m sure they all have butts because they have to poop.  But then again, Mike Wolkowski seemed like just a head with legs.  Hmmmm…sometimes you are a monster and you have a butt, so yep, let’s stick with that, monsters do have butts. 

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